An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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minced oaths

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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live babies

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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What happened to Mitchell after he left the store? He walked

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops