If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

women's rights

Your mom.

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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