what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Which one is hardest?

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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