Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops