What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +49

your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A mexican goes to an ATM.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -18

KIMBERLEY HONEY

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops