Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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alert('The Game')

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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