Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Gustavo Andrade

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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