How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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