Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Diana and victoria

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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