Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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TWIX PAUSE!

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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