- Anti Joke

There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

Flop dog

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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