What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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The song Friday Rules!

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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knock knock no ones home

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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What is brown and sticky?

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where's mom I killed her

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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