A duck walks into a bar and is quickly shooed away because it is unsanitary to have a duck in a bar.

Your wife died during the delivery.

A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

What do you call a bear. Rob.

A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

What is full of water and drowning people A pool

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

A russian gives away vodka.

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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