What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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men's rights.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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i have two hands.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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