Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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potato

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i like cats

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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i like tits

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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