An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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