How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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i have two hands.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Dance is a sport

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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