What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +31

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops