The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

The size of Idris Elba's penis

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

The Charlotte bobcats.

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

hey guys im gay

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...