What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Once upon a time

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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