A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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It’s dead.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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