Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Artic Storm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

out of your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hello juliano and guss. having fun?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops