In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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