How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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what did the farmer do? plant

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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