A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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