Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

I can Nazi

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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