What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +174

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops