What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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Mexicans working in an office

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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guess what? bannanas

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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