why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Your mom

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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