What is white and black and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

thumb_up thumb_down -12

<=-):[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]:(-=>

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops