Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

An atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said "god bless you". He thanked them and continued on with his normal day because it wasn't really that big of a deal to him.

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

poop

Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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