I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Women's Soccer.

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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