What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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9/11

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Dallas Cowboys

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops