A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Why? Why not?

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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