How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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