Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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