Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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how do you confuse a blond?

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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Sarah Palin

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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