There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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