What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Hi

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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