I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Poo LOL

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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