What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Time flies like a banana.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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Where's my tractor?

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Women rights.

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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