If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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