What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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