What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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