Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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