How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Penis-biter

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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A whole 'nother.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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24

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Boob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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