"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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Your Mom

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Gingers.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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25

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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