What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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