…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

do you know what's so funny? yup

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +20

im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bob dole

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops