Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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ekoj

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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WNBA

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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