My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Religion.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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