The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

What can make you pee? Liquid

385

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

NEVER

What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

Sophie Cameron is Gay

What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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