How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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http://richardfigures.com/

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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