What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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Jimmy Saville

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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