A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Hey

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What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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What do you call an arab terrorist with a bomb on his back in the middle of an airport? Don't even worry. You will never be able to pronounce his name.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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