What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Penis

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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