Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

wenis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

good looking women

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops