What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a grilled cheese for a black guy? Butter two pieces of bread, place two slices of any kind of cheese in between the pieces of bread, then fry it in a pan with butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Freedom of Speech

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

thumb_up thumb_down -86

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops