Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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hi mom

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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