What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who wants $300? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a black man walks out of popeyes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops