Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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69

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? Learn to duck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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